the bigger picture

The exam month is over. The testing times have passed..Or have they?

Finished with my theory and practical. Singular not plural. They went pretty ok... And a big hello to JD!http://janakidani.wordpress.com/ Good work there... as always J Now for the bigger picture..

This is my final year at college. I’ll be a graduate next summer and I’ll be giving entrance exams running from one city to other. Have started preparing but its not enough if I want to achieve something better. Bigger.

Each day makes me realize what is left to be done and what I have done. What have I achieved so far? What have I done for myself? For my parents? For my country? Blame it on the overcast weather for all the self contemplation which by the way is very important. Self analysis from time to time helps one become a better person.

This self analysis helped me realize the vast change I’d undergone since school. At school I was this big teacher’s pet with one best friend. Those kinds who took part in all possible extra curricular activities (leaving aside sports of course)- a leader in every sense, perceived as snobbish , full of attitude till about the eighth grade, then life changed people changed. My perspective of looking at people changed. I became a better person. Being non judgmental and respecting the individuality every being possessed was a valuable lesson learnt. By the time I left school I had grown tall not only in terms of height; but in thoughts too.

So am I a saint? No none of us are! Do I take pleasure in others times of troubles? No! Even if they are arch enemies...Umm…Maybe...Would I help them if they came to me? Yes! Surprisingly yes! Each one has his or her own take on situations life has to give. If you desperately seek advice try calling at least 2 or 3 friends… each one will have their own way of tackling problems.. So your mind too gets the bigger picture…your thinking capabilities change. You appreciate others points of views and are much more at ease adapting to those... Another valuable lesson learnt albeit with sour experiences.

Each day brings with it many obstacles some which one has been through, some very hard to handle…but at the end of the day what matters is your inner strength…and your thought process which has to be oriented in a positive way.

I know it’s easier said than done. But I am trying really hard to do it.. Believe me. Just the fact that you are trying to be a better person, taking efforts to accept your negative thoughts and improving makes you a better person. Not perfect. Just better.

this and that..

Been very busy lately. . No seriously! I mean had completion, had my internals, had social issues, and had family issues. Lots going on.

My internals were good. Okay as in they were just 2o marks each. 3 subjects and one of them being English *smirks*.

It’s very annoying to see the general approach of people in my class towards English. No doubt they find it difficult to grasp it as many had it as their second language but what I feel is at least there should be a will to do it. Marks are all what they care about. Don’t they realise that all the further interviews and the research papers to be written and read would all be in English?  Anyway not my problem is it?

Was dad’s birthday yesterday. Had a lot of fun! Baked a cake which turned out to be pretty good considering that I hadn’t baked since last April and that one was a complete disaster. (Rock solid on the outside and half baked on the inside! disaster indeed)

But that’s that. No grand celebrations. Can’t even think of it. Not because of recession but because of boards. My brother has his boards coming up in like 7...no just 6(omg) days...

So no party sharty.. no late night TV watching.. No talking on the phone in front of him.. No talking when he studies... For 20 days to come. And then? Then what? Freak out as much you want. But hey! What about my exams???? ‘Your’ exams? 3 papers with one of them being ‘English’ and you call it ‘exams’??   

Ya whatever!

p.s. I also made pizza day before yesterday which was yummy! J

 

exam fever...

The word itself gives you nausea. The teachers inform you well in advance.
Exams coming up people! Buck up!
Buck up my foot you think. First at least complete the portion.
And you start dreaming or rather daydreaming particularly in the boring genetics lecture where the professor goes on”blah blah blah...” in an irritating boring voice. You feel yes this is your time. This is the time when you can prove it to the world what you are. You can show that show-off in the class that only blabbering in the class with the text book placed on your lap is not smartness. You dream stupidly about the teacher announcing “…and the first ranker this time is ... no not you sonali it’s Aditi!! “
Applause applause… oh no wait that’s the teacher banging the desk with the duster.
A livid discussion about the exam meets you in the recess... Oh gosh! What do I do! the portion’s not going to finish on time and that meta teacher is going to screw the practical!. You grin stupidly and think ha! What losers... They should follow my example.
And you get lost in your dreams again... (What to do! Pisceans have this weird quality which by the way is a savior in boring lectures)
Let’s go to a few weeks before the exams. You have managed to finish quite a few chapters which is a Herculean task in itself (amidst friends, family gossip, new movies and other stuff). You realize once you go through previous years question papers that “picture abhi baaki hai dost” n you still have to cover huge amounts. You try concentrating and make a time table which you never follow.
Strange are the ways of humans. Relatives do not find any time more suitable than this to pay a visit to oh my dearest niece!! Ya right. And then the blabber mouth from college calls up to proclaim that I haven’t even started studying when you are well aware that all she’s doing is mug mug and mug!! I hate such people who have these weird strategies. Then there are others who call up and ask yar how tensed I am n how come you aren’t? so that’s my problem? That I am not tensed??
One day before exams: ok now am tensed... don’t feel like studying at all. Just revise whatever I feel like making sure I score decent marks. I don’t understand how people sacrifice on their sleep. I don’t give a damn whether my 24th revision is left or oh lets practice this for the umpteenth time... Sleep is dear.
Exam day: everything’s going fine. Mums fed me dahi shakkar. My prayers are done. Alls well. I vow to fill pages so that the examiner will at least give me some marks and I keep in mind what apurva mama advised me to do. All goes on smoothly when whats-his-name comes up and asks “hey did you do the salvage pathway?” and you’re like"yeah of course. It goes something like...Er...Salvage pathway right...Ya ya I know… oh heck lemme revise it for the last time”
And guess what it does come in the paper!!
Result comes out... Turns out I have got pretty decent marks. And sonali is first as usual. Still learning how not to dream and how to focus as my dad(a Piscean himself) puts it. The sooner I learn it the better. And I can already see myself holding my mark sheet which says 90%...